I’m so angry I hate it I hate it I hate it. Why can’t I be happy. WHY WHY WHY WHYWHY. Why am I an asexual girl in a world obsessed with sex. SEXSEXSEXSEX. THAT’S ALL I EVER SEE, SEX. I HATE SEX
I DETEST SEX
IT’S NOT FAIR THAT I CAN’T HANDLE IT. WHY CAN’T I BE NORMAL, WHY CAN’T I GROW OUT OF THIS. WHY. I can’t stand hearing about it, I smile and nod, nod nod, laugh a little, flash my bucked teeth in a worthwhile smile to whomever is describing their experience. On the inside I’m vomiting. I can’t handle it. I’m shaking. I’m depressed, I’m horrified, and it all just crawls back to you’re next, you have to have sex eventually. I don’t want this. I hate this. It’s not fair, no one can understand my resentment of sex S-E-X. They think it’s a phase, I’m young, once I meet the right person I’ll grow out of it. I’ll die unhappy without sex another offered me, mocking, laughing, making a joke out of my goddamn fears
I can’t. I can’t go on like this with people. Everyone is so fucked, it’s not fair. I’m never going to find someone to love, because I won’t have sex. I’m never going to be in a happy, healthy relationship, companion ship, anything. Never.